My baby girl was born on April 19, 2022. Initially, when I found out that I was pregnant, I was scared because I thought that I would have morning sickness along with other severe pregnancy symptoms. But thankfully, my pregnancy was smooth sailing.

Whilst I was pregnant, I was in my clinical rotation for six months as a physical therapist. I began my degree in physical health in 2019 and finished in 2021. Naturally, this allowed me to question the health of my pregnancy, along with what I would want for my child.

Two years before my pregnancy, in 2020, I had followed an influencer on Instagram who had tried a method called "baby elimination communication" with her newborn. Baby elimination communication is a natural, diaper-free potty training practice, which involves learning your baby's potty cues and timing, to teach them to use the toilet.

At first, I thought that the idea was crazy. I had never heard of it or seen anyone do it before. But, eight weeks into my daughter's life, I remembered the method and became curious about it. I began researching the benefits of the method and came across other parents on YouTube who had tried it with their newborns and gotten great results.

So, in June, I randomly decided to try it. I first told my husband and although he thought that it was a weird idea at first, we decided to test it out by placing our daughter over a bucket. The first time she sat over a bucket, she peed. I couldn't believe it. Following that, I began to place her on the toilet with me. Initially, I thought that the process would be overwhelming, but as soon as I began, I realized that it was simple for me. Ever since then, I have been very consistent with taking my daughter to the toilet four times a day; every time she wakes up, whenever we feed her, and before we leave the house.

To pick up on my daughter's cues, I gradually taught her to signal physically, which is waving of her hand to indicate she needs to use of the toilet. As of now, she has only signaled to me twice, but when I use the sign, she will reach for me to show me that she needs to go to the toilet, or she will pause before or after eating.

I tried the baby elimination communication method because it made sense to me. Babies can't communicate like adults; their way of communication is crying. So, I feel that when we teach them to signal their needs before they can verbally speak, we are naturally able to take crying and discomfort out of the equation, so that they can begin to communicate their needs in a way that doesn't cause them much anguish. I personally feel that through this method, some babies would naturally be happier, more comfortable, and emotionally stable at a very early age.

Potty training immediately made sense to me because I did not want my daughter sitting in her stool all day. I feel that it's more hygienic and respectful for her to signal to me. If I find that this form of communication is ever putting my daughter in discomfort, I will stop, but as of now, I believe that she loves it.

I have been posting videos on YouTube since 2019. In 2022, I began posting more videos on TikTok. One day, as I was taking my daughter to the toilet, my husband suggested that I raise awareness of the method by telling the TikTok community about it. It gained a lot of attention, but some people hated the method and even judged it.

I have a very open-minded personality, so negative comments don't bother me as I am confident that I know what is best for my daughter. Some people told me that I am rushing my daughter to grow up, or that it is unsanitary for me to have her on the toilet, even though my toilet is always clean. Some have called the method abusive, but others have also agreed with it.

In September, my family and I had a bridal shower for my sister-in-law, and as I was telling my friends about this technique, they also began making jokes and calling it weird. But a shift happens when someone truly witnesses it. I think that's when people understand it better. My friend hung out with me last week and saw that as soon as we arrived home, I took my daughter to the toilet and she released her stool. I cleaned her and that was that. My friend was shocked and amazed. She had known that I was doing this for months, but witnessing it was completely different.

My daughter still wears a diaper, and she uses it two times a day as babies naturally pee a lot, but she never releases stool in the diaper, unless we miss her cue, which has happened a few times. I also don't force or put pressure on her. I'm not encouraging her to hold in her bladder, as that is dangerous. I'm not hovering over her like waiting for a cue, I just read her differently now. I feel that's a really good thing to also be trusted by her.

My husband has seen all the research that I did before going ahead with this. I've also realized that a lot of what I do for work also correlates to this. That's why when a lot of people tell me that I shouldn't be trying this method for medical reasons, because my daughter's muscles are not developed, I brush it off because I am in the medical field and have also done extensive research for myself.

We are not meant to teach our children to hold in their bladder, but this is not what I am teaching my daughter. That's why she still wears a diaper. We are teaching her to become familiar with cues. My favorite thing about motherhood is making memories with my daughter. Through the baby elimination communication method, I feel that I already understand her in a different way than I would if I didn't do it.

Alexis Abdelaziz Kakish is a physical therapist, based in California. She began creating content on TikTok relating to the baby elimination communication method in June 2022. You can find her on TikTok here.

All views expressed in this article are the author's own.

As told to Carine Harb.

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